It's almost four; I hand in an essay in five and a half hours. The topic is Genesis. The theme is that the creation of man in God's likeness, in the Hebrew creation epic, was not complete until the fall. The twist is that I'm treating God as one unsure of himself, his power, or precisely how this cause-and-effect thing will pan out.

I have a thesis, I have arguments, I don't think I lack the ability to write straight formal and, if I might flatter myself, stylish prose. And yet I find myself unable to escape the facetious.

"Having just set in motion the wondrous machinations of the universe, he who will be who he will be sets about determining precisely who he is."

What the hell, guys. This is what my brain is giving me.
I'm hoping that - having published that sentence here - I will be disinclined to hand it in as my opener, for fear the plagiarism fairy might find it unattributed on the internet and kill my family. Because right now, this is the sort of essay it looks like I'll be handing in. And I'd really rather just write a straight paper to the best of my ability.

If any of you read this before 9:30 Atlantic time, give me a call - number will be in my MSN name. You and me, we're going to talk essay.
Feel free to call also if you read it later, and I'll quote you some of the more mortifyingly smartass lines that I am certain I'll end up subjecting my profs to.